Ok yes I did find this random shot of Jesus' twitter page, and I began to wonder... Who on Earth would make a twitter so heavenly and so blasphemous at the same time? Well I do not know but I think it is very silly, and so I am going to blog about it because that seems to be the thing to do lately is blog about Jesus twittering. So I have no random order of these things I am just throwing out these points and they could be related, they could not be, and please wait until after you have finished reading to twitter @cjcarr AMEN!1. Praise @JesusChrist for being so holy
As you may very well know, twitter has swept the nation, and I will not lie, I have one myself and I love it, and since everyone (and I mean everyone, including two of my best friend's mothers) has a twitter I thought we could incorporate it into churchly things. I know tons of pastors, including mine, and religious figures have a twitter so we could have church everyday via twitter. "Dear twitter nation, this is your pastor and I want to remind you how awesome @JesusChrist is for saving us." "@randompastorwhotwitteredthatJesusbitofencouragementtomeonanonchurchday AMEN!"
We could even get the catholics involved and start confessing our darkest sins to our priests, "@mydearpriest I have committed the sin of murder today, please ask forgiveness for me." We could even twitter in church (don't lie I know all the people that use the Youversion Bible on their phone check/send a twitter at least once during church, I mean Jesus has one so it has to be ok... right?) If the preacher makes a good point just twitter at him, we could even have a live feed of all the twitters on the screen behind him, it would really encourage participation, and when there is a visitor just twitter at them as they leave @firsttimevisitor thanks for coming! come back and see us. Also the criticism of church could be expressed out loud over Twitter so everyone knows how much of a selfish hater that you are, not just the lucky people who happened to go to church with you, this will keep the church much more honest. Twitter was made by God, I am sure of it.
2. I like my Jesus with '87 Jeans and a Fresh pair of nikes on.
That is right, I just referenced an Usher song in a blog post about Jesus, go ahead say something because Jesus has my back and yes I believe Jesus is an Usher fan, even though he prefers Kanye West, I mean who doesn't?
God is my boy, and so I like to picture him just like me rolling in the ride and bouncing with our hydrolics and sweet gangster rap. So blast that ghetto music in church, Jesus is ok with it as long as you buy the clean version from Itunes, because Jesus isn't all about that crazy filth language. (btw this approach as portraying Jesus works best if you have a church somewhere in the ghetto) Remember if you have old white people in your church be very very careful before you start wearing chains and blasting T.I. During church.
3. Jesus as Michael Scott.
Enough Said
4. Jesus loves movies.
Answer this question: What is Jesus' All time favorite movie?
A. The passion of the Christ
B. Star Wars
C. Old School
D. Dawn of the Dead
If you answered B you would be correct. So go ahead have the church sponsored Star Wars marathon where you watch 1-6 in one glorious day and praise Jesus during every lightsaber battle. Yes movies are awesome to incorporate during church and if your congregation doesn't like it I am sure that they will twitter about it, so I guess it is up in the air. Although do pray really hard before you yell "WE"RE GOING STREAKING!" in the middle of the service and then take of running while trying to peel out of a three piece suit, David may have ripped his clothes, but that was in mourning and repentance, not in some spur of the moment good time during the middle of the service because you notice 76% of the people are asleep.
We need to reach people, why not these ways.
What about you? Do you have any great ideas for church growth?
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